Das Keyboard
I pity your puny computer keyboard... da vun with those childish letters and numbers on its keys. It's time to grow up and get a Das Keyboard. Behold its purity and divine blackness... and 100% blank keys:
With the Das sitting on your desk, you'll send the loud-and-clear message to all who enter your workspace: "Do not F with me. I'm a kick-ass typist." But the real genius of Das Keyboard extends far beyond its sleek, absolute blackness. The Das is tactile. Groups of keys are logically assigned different "weights." Why hasn't anybody thought of this before?

It goes without saying, only touch typists need apply. If you're still hunting and pecking your way though life, you finally have proper motivation to get your act together and type like an adult.

I'm not joking with that "grow up" comment. Being a fast, accurate typist is a crucial life skill. In the modern world, so much of our interaction with people takes place in the form of electronic (and printed) communication. Why struggle? Make the *investment* in becoming a great typist. It'll pay you back big time.

Not cheap at $80, but the quality is there. Das Keyboard.